The Ugly Word: “NO”

Here they are: my beautiful, silly, fun, completely opposite of each other 14 month olds ❤ I always wonder how they got so big so fast. Life is crazy that way I guess. One moment I’m in the hospital giving birth, the next moment we’re celebrating their first birthday! Now they’re walking, babbling, signing, and saying some words. They’re trying to be independent, but there is still a lot of learning left to do!

When Emery and Elijah were around 6 months old they became mobile. Rolling and army crawling became life, and all of a sudden I was chasing my little potatoes around the house. There was only one thing left to do when this began: BABY PROOFING.

Before having kids I believed that I could leave everything out like my knick knacks, pictures, other fun decor. I told myself and my husband; “we’ll just tell our kids ‘no’ and they will learn what they can and can’t touch.” Yes. I was THAT person. Well the joke was on me because 6 months into motherhood I was telling my kids “no” all day long.

If you’re like me you get tired of telling your kids over and over again not to touch something. One night I was googling what milestones my kids should be teaching at their age, and I stumbled upon an amazing article that changed my whole world:

https://www.healthyway.com/content/some-psychologists-say-you-should-stop-telling-your-kids-no-and-this-is-why/

Why you should stop telling your kids “no”.

This article above is all about using different ways to tell your child “no”, and they all made so much sense. For me, I didn’t want their first words to be no. It is such a negative word, and once they can say no they will always tell you no. I also did not want tantrums to ensue after being told no so many times. After talking it over with my husband we decided to use a different phrase in place of the word no. We say: “Please don’t do [whatever it is they’re doing].” And then we explain to them why: “Please don’t take that toy from your brother, he was playing with it first.” Or “Please don’t bite mommy, that really hurts her.” We always make sure to explain to them why they can’t be doing something or why that something they are doing is wrong. It took a bit to get family who is around them often on board. “No” just seems to roll off the tongue so nicely and easily, but in the long run it turned out for the better.

Using positive language is probably the best thing we could have done for our twins. They now understand why they can’t do certain things or touch certain things, and they also have learned a little bit of manners in the process. My son and daughter can both sign the word “please” so now when they want something we have them “ask nicely”. We constantly tell them “thank you” and also sign it to them as well, and they definitely know what the word “don’t” means. Sometimes though they don’t really get it, and when they won’t stop doing or getting into something we just remove them from the situation.

It’s so easy to tell your kids “no”, but what my husband and I learned from this whole situation is that it’s easier to teach, and explain to them why they can’t do something. Don’t get me wrong, we have our moments where that ugly word slips out from our lips, but once we notice what we just said we immediately revert back to our “please don’t” phrases.

I want to know:

How do you tell your kids “no”? Do you think you will change the way you speak to your kids after reading the article above? Let me know!

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One thought on “The Ugly Word: “NO”

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  1. I love this. I definitely want to do this with our girls. I have read another article similar and it doesn’t make so much sense. No just sounds awful when you say it all day long! Great blog. 👏🏼
    Love you guys 🖤

    Like

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